I am the very blessed mom to two adopted children, and even though the debate rages on as to whether adopting across color lines is an injustice (to all who involved), I believe our lives have all been changed for the better.
They turned my world around, in good and bad ways, but more importantly they have moulded me into the person I am today, a self-employed mom with her own little business.
Waking up today, I was flat. Flatter than my 40 something old boobs. And I've been battling to motivate myself. Money's tight. For me the end of the year means a much quieter time and so I find myself stressing about cash flow all the time. And every now and then I think 'I can't do this! I need to find a job' and then I look at my children, my two miracles, and realise I am strong. I am stronger than I ever imagined.
Against all odds I have two gorgeous, funny, smart, incredible children, who I fought for. I stood up against all the negative comments, I stood up against family and friends dissuading me from going that route. With sheer determination and gritted teeth I did it. And I would have moved heaven and earth if I needed to.
So today, when I was ready to give up and update my CV I remembered just how strong I am. That if I really really want my 'baby' to be successful I need to fight tooth and nail, like I did for Emma and Ben. I need to not take 'no' for an answer and not be afraid of the unknown. I need to not doubt myself and move forward, head down, with bull-like tenacity. Like I did six and three years ago.
I am a mother. Thanks to adoption. I am where I am, because of adoption. I was, and am, an incredibly strong and resilient woman who did, and can, move mountains to achieve what I want.
I know all of this to be true. Because of the best thing I ever did. To believe that blood doesn't make us family. Love does.