Yesterday I took Emma for a Body Talk session. The process, and practitioner, came highly recommended by a friend I trust and respect.
I think I did it a few years back. And a few weeks later I ended up in rehab for depression and an eating disorder. Coincide? Possibly. The breakthrough I needed? Definitely.
But back to Emma. Emma eats a lot. For a five year old. For a girl. And while she's eating, she's asking for the next plateful, slice, treat. We keep telling her to just enjoy what she has in her mouth at that moment. But it doesn't work. She has an insatiable hunger that can't, or won't, be satisfied.
Mark worries about her weight, from a health point of view as well as a societal one. I do too. I was a fat kid growing up and I hated it. But because I'm so sensitive to the issue, I rather tap dance around it.
We also don't know her genetic makeup. Her biological parents could have been BFGS. So she could be genuinely hungry and we end up starving her.
Body Talk, if you Google it, works on a cellular level. During the appointment there's a lot of mention of chakras, chis and energies. There's balancing and aligning as attention is given to the physical and emotional levels. If you're a sceptic, and you're allowed to be, you'll roll your eyes for the rest of this post, but I can tell you that before our appointment he asked me to write down concerns around Emma and highlight them on a drawing of the body. He didn't once look at that document and he was pretty spot on. He also got her to fall asleep in two minutes.
On a physical level Emma's body isn't absorbing any nutrients and minerals. Her iron levels are low, as are her various vitamin levels, all necessary for a body to function properly. She battles to sleep, is often constipated and possibly is lactose intolerant, hence the eczema on her body.
On a deeper level Emma is in a constant state of fright or flight. Mark and I often comment on how she seems to 'overreact' when she's moaned at or we tell her we're not happy with something she's done. And (apparently - see what I did there? im covering my bases for those who think I'm a loon) it's because she's needing approval, stemming from her abandonment and rejection issues from early on. Emma (apparently ;) feels that if she isn't performing at her best with us, we too will give her away.
My little girl, who is wise and mature for her age, is battling with her identity. She feels as though she doesn't quite fit in in our world, nor does she fit comfortably in a black culture. And apparently is letting her visit Esther in Cosmo and go with Primrose to church on Sundays really is food for her soul.
Emma's self worth is very low and on some level she questions why she wasn't good enough for her BM to keep her, to want her.
When he 'cleared' her heart and head chakras, she relaxed, and literally fell asleep. Gone. Out like a light.
Of course I've simplified this because I actually don't quite understand it. But to sum it up, Emma eats because she is hungry. Nothing will satisfy her for as long as her body isn't absorbing nutrients. And she's relying on sugary things for the energy that healthy vitamins and would normally give her. Emma also eats (at the moment) to fill a very real gap she feels. She eats to fill a void, that right now, she's battling to fill emotionally and spiritually.
We've got another session in 6-8 weeks and I'll let you know how that goes. In the meantime I'm booking sessions for Mark, Ben and myself.
I'd love to hear your thoughts...