Sunday, 7 August 2011

Things I've learnt along the way (in no particular order)

* Never make out with your best friend's guy
* Never whisper into a live studio mic
* 'Celebs' go to the toilet and pick their nose just like the rest of us
* He's never going to leave his wife for you
* Never run after a man. If he's running he doesn't want you
* Honesty is not always the best policy
* Sperm does not taste like a vanilla milkshake, and yes, it stings when it hits you in the eye
* When a man says "it's not you, it's me", it is actually him
* One size does not fit all
* Skinny jeans are exactly that...
* Sperm does not taste like vanilla ice-cream
* It's not the clothes that make you look fat
* A man will argue with a GPS when it comes to directions
* Men are not created equal. Some are made in God's image. Others are made in China
* Sexy's not coming back
* Anal sex does not a virgin make
* Bad things happen to good people
* Men come and go. STD's stick around
* Contrary to what adverts show, menstrual blood is not blue
* Sperm does not taste like any kind of dairy product

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