Friday, 2 September 2011

Hello Kitty, Goodbye Nappies

Where does the time go? This morning our little girl went off to school for the first time, nappyless. And no, I didn't forget to put it on. She had her very own little broekies on. Hello Kitty ones, of course. Toilet training has officially begun.

Only three years ago I would introduce myself in the following way: "Hi I'm Melinda and I'm barren!" It was the conversation stopper I had hoped for. Conversations would also go along these lines:

Person - So Melinda, are you married?

Me - Yes

Person - How long have you been married?

Me - Only six years, but if I had murdered someone I'd already be out of jail

Person - *nervous laugh, looking around for support* So do you have any children?

Me - No

Person - Oh! Don't you want kids?

Me - I would love children

Person - So then...what's stopping you?

Me - *response here would sometimes vary* We're battling to fall pregnant. My husband keeps putting it in   the wrong hole OR We're battling to fall pregnant. My husband shoots blanks

Person - *more nervous laughter* How long have you been trying?

Me - Six years...and counting

Person - Well you should go see the Good White Witch of the West. My friend who was also battling to fall pregnant went there and with one wave of her magic wand she was pregnant. With triplets. I was told that if I didn't smoke so much, drink so much, weigh more, weigh less, stress less, stress more, have sex with my legs in the air, not wee after intercourse, wee after intercourse, the chances of falling pregnant would be better

Me - Sorry, I think I hear my other voices calling me!

Some of these conversations went on longer, some were shorter. But everyone knew someone who had seen someone and voila...had fallen pregnant. Without intercourse. Miraculously. So I soon learnt by introducing myself as barren we'd cut a huge amount of dialogue out and people would hurry off, as quickly as their little legs could carry them, far away from the bitter barren woman quaffing too much champagne and smoking too many cigarettes.

Two years and four months ago Emma arrived. This tiny little thing that looked more like a baby bird, than a baby girl. She was was born prem and looked so fragile. I remember the first time we met her, as if it were yesterday. Eleanor and Wanita had dressed her up so beautifully for the big introduction but they shouldn't have bothered. She was so perfect in every way she could have been wearing a burlap sack...I remember sitting with her in my lap, counting her fingers, drawing a line around her perfect lips, gently touching her ears. I remember saying to her "Hello's nice to meet you. I've been waiting for you forever!"

Her first Christmas with us was perfect. We were in Knynsa with Mark's mom and his sister from the UK and her two little boys. The moment they saw little Emma they oohed and aahed at the Coca-Cola baby. We took Emma to Monkey Land and to see the elephants. We went to restaurants and gardens. Mark took her for a ride on a bike and for a little row on a boat along the lagoon. It was my best Christmas ever, with my new family.

I remember her first Birthday party. It was a Hello Kitty one and we had it with special friends and family. It wasn't grand in the greater scheme of things, but it was the best day ever. It wasn't so much a birthday celebration, but rather a celebration of life and all things beautiful. Her second party, a Dora the Explorer one, was more for Emma and I went all out (I still don't think Mark's seen the proper recon). Again friends and family got together to celebrate Emma and her emmaness.

There are so many milestones that we've reached. The first time she crawled. The first time she walked. The first time she clapped her hands together. The first time she smiled and the first time she laughed out loud. The first time she said 'daddy' and then 'mommy'. The first time she counted for us or sang Incy Wincy Spider. The first time she said 'I love you' or asked for a hug.

Our time together has flown by and every single moment has been precious. I don't wish for anything back and I don't wish for anything to happen faster. Thanks to Emma I live in the here and now. Except on Thursdays. On Thursdays Emma already starts nagging for Thabani at Serendipity, which only happens on a weekend


  1. I've had too many of the same conversations you've described above! :-)
    Of course, now, those conversations still happen but they're slightly different, if I had a $ for every time someone said to me: "now that you've adopted, you'll definitely fall pregnant" I'd be a very wealthy woman!

  2. ooooh me too. I've been told now that I've adopted I'll end up having a baby of my own :)

  3. oh gosh. how i've loved reading this post! i feel the same way - i cannot believe how quickly the year with Isabella has FLOWN by. and I am so excited for things to still come! i used to say "i can't wait for...", but now i rather say "i'm looking forward to". she has been worth every bit of heartache we went through to get to where we are now.
    and as for those conversations, i've had many too - but one that stuck out the most was from one of our consultants at work. she told me that one of her colleagues had been battling for years and was now in her late 30's; she was tring something for the last time - some 'magic tonic' and BAM she was pregnant. verbatim. BAM. really? BAM?????
    at times i don't respond very politely .. others i can only chuckle and shake my head.

  4. I've heard all the wonderful stories. And it's always a friend of a the friend of a friend who fell pregnant straight after she chose her surrogate. It was because she was relaxed now and the stress of having to fall pregnant had been taken away. Now she was sitting with the dilemma of having 2 right after the other...

    I was also told right after my miscarriage that the 'dead' one would now fertilize my womb and I'd fall pregnant in no time. People really do say the darndest things xxx

  5. Hope the day went well without nappies!
    I hated conversations like that when I was TTC... especially after having so many miscarriages.

  6. Great post - Emma is a gem and has a fab mom xxx

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