Thursday, 1 December 2011

The Lessons I am Learning


There are a few blogs I follow because they are beautiful and also because they are the blogs of moms (and dads) who I have something in common with. We are parents who have adopted babies.

We have experienced the lowest lows of struggling to fall pregnant, or not falling pregnant at all. We have heard or seen a little being growing inside of us and the devastation that comes with that loss. We have left our dignity at the door while been poked and prodded and x-rayed and scanned. We have been turned upside during laporoscopies and our world's been turned upside down even more when all of this has failed.

We have all been through the process of adoption and we have all been blessed with the most beautiful wonderful amazing totally loved babies.

Recently I had the pleasure of popping into Sharon and she mentioned they were on the waiting list for their second placement. I was so excited for her and asked her to please keep me up to date with ALL the news.

Needless to say I was devastated to see her tweet and read her blog post a few days later. The baby they were so patiently waiting for had passed away at only four months. There really are no words. 

But someone left a message for Sharon saying that his soul would find her again. With goosebumps and a lump in my throat I quietly nodded to myself, because I believe this to be true. Babies choose us. Even though Emma is not of our blood, she is of our heart, and we have a bond with her that only she understands.

You see, of all the moms and dads in all the world, Emma chose us. And she chose us because we had some lessons to learn. Lessons that can't be learned in books, in lectures and workshops or even via Google.

Every day I learn invaluable lessons from Emma. Some big, some small, all equally important.

I learn patience from her. She's not a difficult toddler, nor was she a high maintenance baby. But I have always had a short fuse and 'lose it' often. So in her wisdom Emma pushes my buttons just enough to challenge me. Just enough to make me take a step back and count to 10...

I have learned to laugh...a lot. Emma is a riot and keeps us in stitches all day. Somewhere along the line laughter and fun is replaced by bills, responsibilities and the bullsh*t of life. Emma has taught Mark and I that there is always time to laugh...especially in the WORST of times

 

It's okay to be silly. I let Emma put pots on my head and occasionally Mark and Emma run around the house with nappies on theirs. The two of them do silly dances and the one who shouts LOOK AT LOOK AT ME gets my attention first. We make up silly songs and rhymes that we sing out loud while in the bath with bubbles on our head...



I have learned that if you love someone...tell them. Tell them 100 times a day. Shout it out. Whisper it. Sing it. Put it in a letter. But don't not tell them!
 

Sometimes it's okay to colour in OUTSIDE the lines. The world is not going to come crashing down on us if we dare scribble all over the page nor will we be reported to the Colour In In The Lines Patrol

With Emma I have learned to love wholeheartedly, unconditionally, without holding back. Why hold back on something that there's so much of...

Be free with compliments. Tell someone you LOVE their pink shoes or their frilly party dress. Jump up and down with excitement when you see someone you like. Scream out your friend's name as you run to meet them...everyone should feel special

My pint-sized pundit is trying to teach me the importance of BEING in the moment. She's also trying to get me to do what I say and say what I mean. If I say it's 'naughty step' time, then it's 'naughty step' time. If I say I'm going to read a book with her then I better be reading a book with. Woe is me if I have one eye on her and the other on my cell phone or on the TV...

I have found the wonder in things around me. Whether it's spotting the brightest star in the sky or watching a teeny tiny caterpillar 'caterpillaring' across a leaf, Emma stands in awe of it all...


I'm also learning that if you haven't got anything nice to say about someone say it as nicely as possible. Children prefer honesty. I'd imagine adults do too...


I hope she stays patient with me as I take this journey with her...


Melinda

3 comments:

  1. Thanks for the kind words Melinda. I had crystal healing/body alignment therapy the year before Ava was born, the therapist told me that I had the spirits of 4 children with me and that one of them, a boy, was coming back to me. I sure hope she and you all are right!
    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  2. He'll find his way back...without sounding like a cheesy Michael Bolton or Kurt Darren (nudge nudge wink wink) song, your love will guide him home x

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yay, I can *finally* post with my Name/URL...

    Anyway, I loved this post. Totally loved it. THIS is what being a parent is all about. Rediscovering life, and learning it's lessons.

    Beautiful!

    ReplyDelete