Monday, 20 February 2012

I really don't need another friend OR a conversation between a mother and a daughter

While in the bath last night with Emma I was told "I'm not your friend anymore". I knew the day would come that I'd hear those words. I'm also looking forward to "I hate you", "You're not my real mom" and of course  the dreaded "You've got poopy breath!"

To be honest it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. My world didn't collapse because my almost 3 year old doesn't want to 'hang' with me. It could be because of the way she said it; in a sing song kinda voice which made her Judas Iscariot betrayal almost sweet or because I actually don't need more friends.

Of course Emma quickly realised her mistake. I cleared my throat, about to deliver a speech on why I don't mind NOT been her friend and she had nowhere to run, hide, sink or swim. We were in the bath and she was going to listen...

"Emma my angel. I don't want to be your friend. I am your mother and that's how it is. Some friends will like you today and want nothing to do with you tomorrow. Some will tease you for being you and others will want you to change. Some might steal the answers from your test and others might steal your boyfriend. Some will be jealous and some will be rude. Of all your friends in all the world, a handful will probably be with you through thick and thin. Even fewer will be around once you meet a man, get married and have children.

Some friends will let you wear an awful outfit, telling you you look FAB and others will talk behind your back. A few of your so-called friends will not think twice about letting you down should a better option come along. They'll leave you feeling alone on your darkest days and want to steal your thunder on your good ones.

Friendships are conditional. You're a BFF the one day and an ex BFF the next. Just ask Paris and Nicole.

A mother's love, my love for you, isn't! I am here, always. Even when you don't want me to be. I will be waiting with arms wide open to celebrate your achievements or to hold a broken heart. I will defend you to the ends of the earth and I will protect you, fiercely, viciously. As your mother I'm not a fair weather friend. I'm here for all seasons. And I know that right now that seems weird and creepy and stalkerish and the last thing you'll ever want BUT let me tell you, that I, unlike some friends you'll meet along the way, am not going anywhere.

You see, while friends may judge and tease and belittle, a mother will never do that. Mothers, like doctors and lawyers, and loads of other clever people, have taken an oath, to protect, to love, care for, to kill for, in good times and in bad, their children. Friends haven't.

No one will ever love you like I do. No one will ever worry about you like I do. Every grey hair, every wrinkle  laugh and frown line will be because of you. I am your biggest cheerleader but I'm also the person who won't let you deliver YOUR second best. I will not smile at your failures or laugh at your fears. If you ask me to keep a secret you have my word that it, like your heart, is safe with me.

So quite frankly little Miss Muffet I'm more than happy to not be your friend. In fact I prefer it that way. I am so much more than that. I am your mother and always will be. I will always love you. Even when you don't want to be my friend"


6 comments:

  1. Oh this is beautiful! I remember blogging the story when the Princess first uttered those words to me. Ai, so long ago.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oi! I'm dreading the day! The I'm not your friend one isn't so bad. But the day when we get the "You're not my real mother" is going to cut deep!

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is beautiful. I've already had, I don't like you anymore, Go away, Leave me alone... and they're only 4! But I always say, we may not like each other all the time, but I will always love you. Thanks for this. I love the poster at the end. I want to print it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is a wonderful post. I hope you won't mind if I quote you to my 7-year-old daughter!

    ReplyDelete
  5. No problem Vanessa. I just hope you get more than a 'huh?' like I did xxx

    ReplyDelete
  6. Very good article! We are linking to this particularly
    great post on our site. Keep up the great writing.

    My homepage submitter

    ReplyDelete