Tuesday, 29 May 2012
The upside of being over the hill
People told me there was something liberating about turning 40. I thought it was an excuse people made up for being OLD! I thought it was what 40 year olds told themselves in order to feel better.
Let me tell you, as a newly turned 40 woman, there IS something very liberating about it. Years ago, in my early 20's, a phase I wouldn't wish on anyone, except cocky 20 year old's, I watched an episode of Oprah with Victoria Principal. She was being interviewed about her life, her achievements, her career, and her age. She was in her 40's and loving it. She said in her 20's and 30's she'd walk into a room full of people and wonder whether she's good enough for them. In her 40's she walked into a room filled with people and she wondered whether they were good enough for her.
I'm new to the naughty forties and am still a little cautious. I don't want to go doing cart wheels with my new found (40) freedom only to bust a hip. There are days when I feel old and over the hill and I know I can't do a lot of things that I could way back when. But there are a lot more when I feel like I'm standing on top of the hill, looking down at all those 'lost souls' with tight abs, asses and boobs, but 'lost' nevertheless.
In my 40's I look forward to not giving a continental about what people think or say about me. Especially those who don't know me, because as far as I'm concerned, I'm like fungi. I grow on you. If you spend time with me you'll know that my sense of humour is dry, almost obnoxious. To some I'm offencive and insensitive but that's me. I love deeply, I protect fiercely, I laugh loudly. My husband and children are my life and there is nothing I will not do for them or the people I call friends. Quite frankly, if you don't get me then you don't get me!
I love that every scar, wrinkle, laugh line and frown line is a mark of how far I've come. They're lines that represent hurt, sadness, joy, laughter and happiness. And there's still space for a whole lot more. Like an incomplete canvass I'm a work of art in progress and I can't wait to see it when it's complete.
I love that I've tried on various skins and I've finally found the one I'm comfortable in. I've been a Goth. I've tried the whole Jane Fonda health nut dress thing. I've been a new romantic and I've been a bad Robert Smith impersonator. Through the years ( and tears) its grown even more comfortable and it finally fits perfectly.
I love the fact that I've earned the right to be able to tell people to f#ck off if I wanted to. Of course I'm far too polite to do this but the fact that I could if I wanted to is a pleasant thought.
I'm thrilled that my days of climbing the corporate ladder are over. I love my job. I love the companies I've worked for and the opportunities I've had but the days of proving my worth for an increase or a promotion are no longer the bee all and end all. at this stage of my life my husband, children and friends come first.
I cherish the fact that I could tattoo 'been there done that' across my saggy ass.
I'm content in my beliefs, my ideas and opinions. They've taken 40 years to try out and test and I'm happy. Of course I'm quite happy to listen to others but I also know that they're like sphincters. Everybody's got one.
I'm now a cougar...
I look forward to receiving my pensioner's discount (in a few years, of course).
At the ripe old age of 40 you appreciate the smaller things in life. Like good friends. Family. Love. Health. And your own teeth.
I don't have to suffer fools (or periods) gladly any more.
I look forward to hitting my sexual peak...apparently that happens sometime soon and I can't wait (I'm sure hubs can't wait either).
Sisters in (bingo flap) arms, what do you love about being 40?