But the most embarrassing thing that's happened to
Anyway, so this friend of mine suddenly goes 'oh ooooh' and I go 'what?' and she says 'I think the painter's arrived!' 'Oh!' I say, 'did he call you on your cell?' Indicating with her eyes and an odd angling of the head, towards her crotch area, she says with an almost locked jaw, 'ze painta!'. 'Oooooooooooooh' I say.
She then asks me if I have anything she can use. I don't but I have a plan, I tell her and off we go to the ladies. I explain that she needs to take a longish piece of toilet paper and wrap it AROUND the gusset of her panties. 'Can't I just make a 'pad' type thing? she asks. I tell her she can but there's a good chance it's not going to stay in place so the best thing would be to wrap it around and around and around.
'Okay' she says and heads off to a cubicle. I stand tweeting, facebooking, downloading mails, etc. A few minutes later she walks out and tells me she's ready. 'Perfect!' I say and off we go. We walk a little bit. Sit down and play with the kids. Stop a temper tantrum of note. A kid. Not mine. Stop somewhere for a coffee. Carry on walking a bit. Jump into the car. Jump out the car. Walk a bit more. Get back into the car. Head towards home. I drop her off and she invites me in for a coffee. While I'm in the kitchen she goes to the bathroom to freshen up and sort out her business with the proper 'tools'. And then I hear it again. That all too familiar 'oh ooooooooh!' 'What?' I shout from the kitchen. 'What's wrong?' 'You know that makeshift pad I made? Well it seems to have shifted! And I can't find it anywhere!'
We retraced steps, through the house, out the door, down the driveway and it was nowhere to be seen. NOWHERE!
'Did you roll and tuck?' I ask her. 'No I folded and placed' she says. 'Well then no bloody wonder!' says me.