Why does my vagina have a nose?

The other day Emma asked me "what's this mom?" I wasn't really paying attention so I said " I'm not sure my angel. What do you think it is?" 

I heard her eyes rolling to the back of her head as she replied "if I knew I wouldn't be asking!"

I turned to look and she was standing there in the nude, curtains open, so to speak. And she was pointing to her clitoris. "Why does my vagina have a teeny tiny nose?" She asked. I almost said "ask your dad", giggling in my head to all the possible responses to his "I don't know!" 

"That's your clitoris Ems?" 

"What's it for?"

I almost answered again "ask your dad" as I silently guffawed in my head at even more of my responses to his "I don't know!"

But instead I messaged my worldly wise friend Kagiso. 'Help!' It read. 'Emma's asking me all about her clitoris! What do I do? What do I say?'

And as always my worldly wise friend answered a question with a question. 'Would you feel uncomfortable if she was asking you what her earlobe was for?' 

'Of course not!'

'Then why be strange about this conversation?'

Point, excuse the pun, taken. 

"Your clitoris is part of your body Emma. It's like your earlobe!" Somehow I don't think this was the point Kagiso was making. 

"But what does it look like?"

"Go to the bathroom or your room and have a look."

A few minutes later she's back. She can't see her clitoris properly and wants me to take a photo of it. On my phone. 

"I don't think that's a good idea my angel. If my phone gets lost or stole I'm going to have a lot of explaining to do! What I'll do is buy you a small mirror and you can look and explore as much as you like, preferably when you're on your own in the bathroom at home, or in your room."

And so the question "why has my vagina got a nose?" got me thinking about a few things. 

1. I'm nowhere near ready to be having this conversation with my six year old

2. As 'open minded' as I thought I was I was stumped as to how to answer the question

3. There isn't nearly enough current literature on this topic. There are books about the body for preschoolers,which looks at the differences between boys and girls, shows pictures of where babies come from, shows rather oddly drawn penises and vaginas and explains 'new kinds' of families. And then there are books for kids 10 years and older and they talk about masturbation, menstruation, sex, pregnancy, birth control etc. There's no 'just right' for where Emma (and I'm sure hundreds of other kids) find themselves. 

But I received a book recently called "Let's Talk a About Sex" written by Robie H. Harris and Michael Emberley. It's brilliant and I wish I had it when I was growing up. There's a chance it's a little too mature for Emma right now but I figured if I leave it on her bookshelf, in amongst 'Jack and the Beanstalk' and 'Willy Wonka' she can page through it, without permanently being scarred and we can talk about issues, as and when they come up!

 

I'll keep you posted on how things go!