Pages

Saturday 14 September 2013

Life and love are nothing like rom-coms

Dear Emma

It takes a while to realise that life is nothing like the rom-com we feast on. 

At 41 I've come to understand that life isn't always perfect and sometimes 'contentment' is better than perfection. 

Life isn't a movie and at some point you'll figure out that love definitely isn't a rom-com. In fact, it's more of a mockumentary with a pinch of Alfred Hitchcock.

Good doesn't always conquer evil. Evil wins a lot

Also the good guys aren't always the best looking ones and the baddies generally don't have a scar running down their cheek

You don't wake up all made up like the girls in movies. Bed head and bad breath are the norm. 

And very few people have a minty fresh breath at 7am so early morning groping sessions aren't an option

Your first kiss will not be fireworks and butterflies. It'll probably be more along the lines of bumping noses and mashing teeth

On that note a nibbling, chin biting smooch is more irritating than sensual and it leaves you with an inflamed chin area

Same goes for sex. It's nowhere near movie moments. You won't orgasm every time and if you do, you'll look nothing like they do in the movies 

Babies don't exit vaginas with pink or blue crocheted hats

Not every ugly duckling is a swan waiting to reveal itself. Sometimes we are what we are and that's ok 

More often than not HE doesn't chase after you and if you decide to run away by plane he'll never make it to OR Tambo in time to stop you 

Prince Charming doesn't exist. Shrek's probably more correct with 'that'll do donkey, that'll do!'

Love at first sight happens but more often than not the right person grows on you. Like a fungus 

No one I know has ever run down the aisle to stop the love of their life marrying someone else

Fat doesn't equal ugly, glasses don't mean geek and pretty isn't always nice 

You won't always get the happy ending you want. But you will get the ending you need

No comments:

Post a Comment